There was a time you and I fought on an ancient discussion board, similarly to the two in a nearby thread (thread entitled 'No P'taah'). As I was talking with them, I thought of us.
You know that now, I see how my ego (my choice for fear) was ruling me and expressed itself in my attacks on you.
It is really only love I can feel for you now. And that love for you was always there. Perhaps you are still here and will read this. Others here may remember our battle. It waged furious, in a long lifetime ago my friend. Somehow I feel you'll know my love for you. The fight was a mistake, an error now embraced.
I cannot say I wish it hadn't happened. Because it was a great catalyst for me to become more aware of the ego, so that more of the ego (fear) could be embraced.
So I want to thank you Hemi, for your strength, and your part in playing within my universe, just as I played a part in yours. I am amazed and utterly grateful at how we chose to share this experience, never having met in person, and living on different sides of the planet, for you to help me in this great transformation... I thank you my brother, and I greatly love you.
Always there is the sweetness of love flowing through from the innermost core of our being no matter how much troublesome it seems on the surface of stories.
I've kept Lightfoot's e-mail address which was given in his farewell with hope. For you just in case you would like to give him a surprise:
" Go to www.planetarypaladins.com and click "message board" Lightfoot AT planetarypaladins.heiroglyph.com remove .heiroglyph "
Chris, although I'm not the designated recipient of your above posting, I can't resist to say thank you for the beautiful emotion expressed in your writing.
I would like to share with you one of my favourate saying from a poet of whom I've forgotten his name: "Perhaps even these things it will one day be a joy to recall"
Actually you, and any others here who were present on the prior P'taah bullitin board, were designated recipients of my posting. The war between Hemi and myself was witnessed and felt by others, and it is to those others, to Hemi, and to myself that I wrote. I so appreciate your communication. I know that there is a healing for us all, whenever one of us transmutes fear to love. Your telling me of your appreciation expresses the healing and for that I am so grateful. It is after all the healing of all people that we desire.
I like your quote: "Perhaps even these things it will one day be a joy to recall". As this quote expresses, there is no experience that we cannot use to grow. That's the "gift" in each and every experience that P'taah often points us to when we talk of some troubled situation. Even the "painful" experiences, when we can be grateful for them and see them as a gift, are a joy to recall. We are not victims, after all. And when we know that we are not victims, when we can take 100% responsibility for our lives and what happens in them, we can begin to use that life and those experiences to discern what we value, and what we do not.
In just such a way have I taken what happened between me and Hemi. I saw how I had held onto judgment and blame and how I had attempted to make him wrong. Do I value the feeling of war, hatred, attack and judgment? or do I value a life filled with caring, love, play, peace and joy. Even to the very cells of the body, my choice will determine my well-being.
Thank you Sweetsoul. You are aptly named. Much love and peace be with you, Chris
and thank you. I'm happy to see another Course student in attendance here.
I thank you also for expressing here your recognition of Love. When we recognize each other in that way, we add to that energy, and act as an example, as you know. I appreciate so much your telling me of your recognition, not because it appeases my egoic appetite, but because it is confirmation of Namaste itself.
Yes! Now we are entering into a phase of garnering the wisdom and the gifts from that incidence that we have co-created together. So, I think it is quite sensible for us to honor the path that we have walked and worked through.
My thanks and gratitude to you for reinforcing the vein of LOVE.
Hello together to both old and new, Stronger joy in Our Morning Song, This minor battle led me to review, Then begin a rythym with "I do belong".
I do greatly respect you're open here, And so I come to you in song, For I do recall the Brotherhood dear, That we would make and so belong.
I just felt anger, rage and grief, Not at you or in my work-a-day world, I could not forgive the brazen thief, Who shattered my dreams of love unfurled.
I used the old board as a place to share, My genuine energy (Love often song), I did not change my heart felt prayer, To NOT forgive this tragic wrong.
I still want to work with my heart, And follow the feelings to the end, When anger is given a place to start, Then most probable for it to mend.
I send love and Light with feeling, And I cried as I put this together, Brisbane is now where I am healing, And so peaceful is the weather.
Delighted, Cane Toad.
*Replace I/my with our, or change other personal tenses as you see fit.
I'm not currently hosting the planetarypaladins domain anywhere, so it's offline, needs a makeover. My email is in my profile here.
Chris, I have been thinking about maybe writing some Christian Prayers or something... along the lines of P'Taah's grand gift, the morning song. I would seek your council on what content and approach I could take on this, given that my upbringing was along the lines of The Secret, Edgar Cayce, Seth and Louise Hay.
I may not be in a position to give you guidance on your question about Christian prayers. Because this forum is here for the discussion of the teachings of P'taah, and how their application has assisted in our own spiritual advancement, that tends to be the focus of discussion. Yet other ideas are expressed here also, and of course the teachings of Seth and many others of our brothers and sisters are the same, in their essence, as P'taah's teachings, though perhaps given in a way that is unique to the specific teacher.
So - check your own guidance on this, and all will be perfectly placed.
Yes I am perfectly placed to make my own decisions, on this, and it would probably have been too hard, to clothe myself with Christian Verse, and to play along with our ealier version. I have not the patience with limited thinking for that sort of role.
Another will come and more probable it will be richer in design for me. I did realise something, in choosing this question, that will benefit my future decision making process, so that's good.
Asha Hello! Nice to see you here again. And thank you. Interestingly too, by admitting mistakes, it makes us the strong person you describe. Why? Because in taking responsibility we are taking our own power, instead of giving it away to someone else through our viewpoint that we are a victim of that someone else.
So in being vulnerable, we add to our strength. In being a fool, we advance towards our wisdom. Many times have I not taken responsibility, and been the fool in making my errors. This time I decided to try something different, and to my surprise, it left me empowered. And very, very, grateful.
Much love Asha - Chris P.S. Perhaps knowing what I know now, I would re-write Beethoven's quote:
"Nothing is more intolerable to the ego, than to have to admit to yourself your own errors." - Beethoven
and another:
"Nothing is more fulfilling than to realize that my 'sins' are simply errors, available for correction through love." - Chris's take on admitting errors
